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Posted by on May 4, 2007 in Tomfoolery | 6 comments

Whose blood you suckin’ now, sucka?

The grandparents arrived last night for a weekend visit. We were sitting in the kitchen, having a drink and catching up on things.

From out of nowhere, a large mosquito, oh, about the size of a titmouse, landed twenty feet across the room from where we were sitting, fifteen feet up, on the peaked ceiling.

Without a thought, I grabbed the closest non-breakable item, a box of Bounce fabric softener, and chucked it like a boomerang. The orange missile sailed across the room and registered a direct hit, crushing the mosquito and instantly croaking him. I slapped the table and giggled like Ernest T. Bass on lithium.

After several seconds of stunned silence, my wife said, “That has got to be the biggest redneck move I have ever witnessed in my life.”

With that said, I ask for your input:

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  1. Without a second thought pouncing like a tiger, a great protector!!! Kudos!

  2. What would have been redneck would have been to hand the bounce box to your little “Poot”(Ron White reference), and gotten him to take care of your light work.

  3. Actually, I believe it would be redneck if I would have handed Poot a
    .22 and told him to shoot the damn thing while I poured myself a Maker’s Mark and Mr. Pibb.

  4. That was quicker’n trying to rid ducks from a Holiday Inn hallway with hockey sticks!

  5. Ouch. I thought that one was in the vault for good.

    Actually, it’s part of a book project that’ll make your liver hurt when you read it.

  6. Red, maybe, but I’ll never forget my ex-wife’s brother’s wedding. He got himself a new belt buckle and set off a quarter stick of dynamite and we all set down to smoked pig & Killian’s in the “cabin”.

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