Pages Menu
Categories Menu

Posted by on Apr 3, 2008 in Hollywood, Tomfoolery | 2 comments

Hollywood [heart] dictators


Latin male, early fifties with a portly build and a bad-ass parrot collection, seeks Hollywood numbskulls for hours of America-hating and drug-fueled thuggery.

I enjoy long walks on the beach, crushing dissent, jailing political opponenets, and ransacking the country’s treasury. Oh, and Pina Coladas, of course.

Please respond with an autographed picture and a statement of sworn allegiance to Fidel Castro, my love-daddy.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on PinterestEmail this to someone


  1. Who else doesn’t think Penn is a ass at this point. He really has gone so far over the deep end that i think even some of his old supporters have privately turned away from him. Spicoli fooled everyone 20 years ago that he was some great actor and he has spent 2 decades acting as strange as weird as he could…until he bamboozled everyone into thinking he is great.

    [after Spicoli wrecks Jefferson’s car]
    Jefferson’s Brother: My brother’s gonna kill us! He’s gonna kill us! He’s gonna kill you and he’s gonna kill me, he’s gonna kill us!
    Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
    Jefferson’s Brother: My brother’s gonna shit!
    Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
    Jefferson’s Brother: First he’s gonna shit, then he’s gonna kill us!
    Jeff Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

  2. Indeed.

    I would even offer grudging respect for his talent, except that his father was a Hollywood insider, and Spicoli (and his brother, the fat guy from that Kevin Bacon movie, who later died of a cocaine overdose) broke into the business with a lot of help from daddy.

    Great quote, BTW.

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *