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Posted by on Jun 1, 2009 in Technology, What the..? | 0 comments

Epic Technical Fails

1) HannSpree 19″ Monitor Fail

I saw one of these in action several months ago, and was quite impressed with the resolution. When the wife’s old Dell monitor crapped out, I found the HannSpree at Best Buy for an incredible price. Considering I’m a cheap, deal-sniffing bastige, I snatched it up and ran to the truck, laughing like a hyena. HD computing glory would soon be mine. (OK, hers.)

Fail.

Once the monitor was installed, I did a test run and everything worked, sort of. The images were slightly compressed, or ‘scrunched down’ as my middle son described it. I tweaked the display settings, to no avail. So I then did what any self-respecting technoid would do: Google it.

Within .89 seconds, I had the answer: The HannSpree 19″ only works with Vista, or, if you have a certain Radeon graphics card installed. Hey HannSpree- Thanks for telling me that in advance, toolbags. Anyway, I checked around and found a Radeon card for cheap (see a theme here?) and will soon test the set-up. Otherwise, I’ll have to buy a new desktop, or upgrade to Vista. Or better yet, convince the wife to join me on the Mac side.

Which leads to point two…

2) eMac Power Button Fail

I’m a Mac guy. I love everything about them, or at least I did until my eMac gave me a metaphorical mule-kick in the plums.

For those of you that don’t know the eMac, it’s a one-piece machine made in the early to mid-nineties, primarily for educational use. The 17″ version with Superdrive is an outstanding and robust machine, and you can get them for nothing on EBay. They’re perfect for kids or office use, and are generally indestructible as long as you don’t have to take the damn things apart.

Enter the mule-kick.

I’ve owned an eMac for two years, and have used it extensively for every imaginable task, from writing inane spleen vents like this one, to editing video for broadcast with Final Cut Pro. Last week, I decided to remove the case and give it a good spray down with the compressed air; you know, set some of those damnable dust-bunnies free, and all that. The case lifts off of the main unit very easily…except for a tiny wire leading from the power button to the main internal unit, where it plugs in to a microscopic receptacle a half inch inside the case.

FAIL APPLE, EPIC FAIL!!

The wire itself was not a big deal. I moved cautiously while removing the case, and it separated from the receptacle with no damage. But getting the damn thing back in is impossible, by my estimation. A quick Google search revealed dozens of other eMac users with the same complaint. One guy even used a freakin’ surgical hemostat to re-connect the plug.

After three dozens attempts, I finally gave up, which was probably a good thing since one of the hair-thin wires in the wire broke in half. Now I’m stuck ordering a new power button kit, or, I’ll simply retrieve the hard-drive and memory from the unit and find another computer for fun and games.

Listen up, computer makers. Use your head when you make stuff, eh? These two massive failures could have been avoided had you simply asked the neighborhood 13-year old computer geek to look at the plans in advance. Now, I have to expend considerable time fixing these things, or shopping for a newer, better model. (Refurbs for my cheap ass, heh.)

NO MORE FAILS!

/rant

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