Dear Branch Manager:
When I opened my business account here, I did so for my benefit, not yours. Your bank exists because of small businesses like mine. Oh, and also because of the exorbitant fees you charge for the bounced checks and complex services like money orders. On that note, why in hell do you charge five dollars for a money order when the post office charges a buck? Pretty sad when the USPS trumps you on service. But I digress.
If I come in to your branch and ask you for a little extra service, say.. approving a local check for instant funds… save all of the eye-rolling and heavy breathing and other drama for your momma. You’re not doing me a favor, as you suggest, but your job, as you’re paid to do.
You see, if I bounce a check due to my own oversight, and it does happen on rare occasion, you charge me thirty five bucks, and I take it like a man. So when you’re asked to walk across the lobby and assist a customer, do so without huffing, puffing and sniveling like a teat-deprived infant, and we’ll get along. ‘kay?
Now get back to work.