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Posted by on Apr 8, 2008 in Booze, Tomfoolery, What the..? | 0 comments

Bee in his shirt?

In Pennsylvania, a naked man who was catapulted from a moving minivan, Tazered three times and finally tackled to the ground by police is in fair condition this weekend, it is reported.

According to the Reading Eagle newspaper, police say they responded to calls Friday from frantic motorists who reported seeing a man climb on top of his minivan roof while it was moving about 55 miles per hour, and watched as he was flung into the woods as the vehicle crashed into a highway guide rail.

Witnesses said the man then climbed up an embankment, took off his clothes and ran on the shoulder of a busy highway bleeding from a foot-long gash in his side, the paper said.

Police Tazered the man three times to try to restrain him. They finally had to tackle him to ground, according to reports.

The man was taken to Reading Hospital in critical condition where toxicology tests were conducted.

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Posted by on Mar 27, 2008 in Booze, Tomfoolery, What the..? | 1 comment

You don’t say…

SYDNEY —  A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak “Australian”.

Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.

The orchard worker later called back and said: “Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right, you know.”

Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

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Posted by on Nov 5, 2007 in Booze, Politics, Tomfoolery | 0 comments

No pass for Thompson

I like Fred Thompson. I don’t think he has fire in the belly, and wouldn’t vote for him. But I like his (relatively) straight talk and unapologetic demeanor.

He needs to cut this skunk loose, and do it pronto.

I don’t want an oily, thieving criminal like Sandy Berger lurking around the White House, and it seems that will be the case if Mrs. Bill gets elected. And I don’t want felons hanging around barbecues in the Rose Garden, in the unlikely event Fred gets elected.

Loyalty to friends is one thing. Loyalty to convicted former bookies is another.

When will you politicians learn? We expect more of you, and those that hover around around you like opportunistic fruit flies.

If, God forbid, a nuclear strike ever becomes necessary, we don’t want vermin like Sandy Berger whispering in peoples’ ears.

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Posted by on Nov 1, 2007 in Booze, Tomfoolery | 0 comments

Elegant Instrument. Heh.

NEW YORK – An insurance broker who said he was playing with his bow to celebrate his birthday pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges related to shooting an arrow through a Manhattan neighbor’s glass terrace door.

Noel Luria, who had said he was using the “elegant instrument” to celebrate his 40th birthday, pleaded guilty to felony reckless endangerment, admitting he shot arrows from his fourth-floor flat.

Two arrows hit scaffolding on a building on East 80th Street across from Luria’s apartment building and one pierced Serena Fogel’s sliding glass terrace door and landed on her kitchen floor.

Luria said at the time that he had been aiming at a target block on his windowsill. A felony complaint said police found a crossbow, a compound bow and 49 arrows in Luria’s apartment. They found two more arrows in the scaffolding.

State Supreme Justice Ruth Pickholtz told Luria she will sentence him to a conditional discharge if he completes a program for alcoholics within the next 18 months and avoids getting arrested for anything.

I knew booze would eventually show up in the article.

[Source: Yahoo News] 

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